today during gp lesson, we didn't have any lessons.. david kwek just wanted to talk to us.. it was sort of a relief because who would want to have lessons when you can slack right? but the things that he said to us or rather "discussed" with us seem to stir up some emotions in me.

he mentioned that he had a passion, a dream.. and that is to become a director. however he gave up on that dream because of the reality people have to face in singapore. ok, how much can you earn being a director IN SINGAPORE. you can become very very famous in hollywood or some other country. but in singapore? the chances are very slim. agreeable? come to think of it, our govt is very protective of us singaporeans. yes we are the only resources that singapore has and the govt has every right to protect us. because we are the future! without people, singapore will die. that is why the education system is so uptight. the govt wants to give us the best education system one can get. but sad to say this education system sucks.. unknowingly we fall into the category many fall into.. that is to work for results blindly. how many people actually study for passion? very little. we seem to be wanting to get good results because we want a good headstart in life! if you don't have a cert, your life is just a roadblock. you stay at that position and there's no way you can go on. so what's the real meaning of us living our life.. studying? following the flow of society and get a degree and have a comfortable life? whatever happened to our dreams and passion for the things we loved so dearly? where had those innocent ambitions gone to? our aspiration.. where is it! have we just conformed to the norms of society just like that? it is truly sad to say that our dreams just vanish like that because we "conform" unintentionally.. how many people actually go out there and make a difference to the society? the people we know of being successful entrepreneurs are actually not academically high achievers.. look at the man behind CREATIVE technology.. does he have a degree? what about the 77th street boss.. is she academically achieved? it seems to be the case that people who do not perform that well in academic areas go on in life to achieve something remarkable while the normal us, contented with life just like that go on in life not knowing what we really, truly want. why did we end up like that.. shouldn't one have dreams and aspirations and work towards them in life???? we are so comfortable in our comfort zone that we just want to remain there and "rot".. kerwin said his dream in life is to grow old and die.. he's probably kidding.. but i feel that not being able to do something we deem remarkable in our own standards is a regret if we just let ourselves grow old and die not achieving anything..

i relate it back to myself.. just like any other kid, i had many aspirations.. i wanted to be many things.. i wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, an architet, or even to sing.. but now, all these don't seem to be my passion anymore.. i wanted to be a doctor, a gynaecologist to be specific because i want to bring life into this world.. it's such a wonder to help a new life get some start in life.. i wanted to be a doctor because i want to help people relieve their pain.. but right now, it isn't any much of a possibility because of my studies.. here, we may have dreams.. but we are often restricted to access to our dreams.. sometimes i wonder if i really have a dream to look up to.. my life now is just to wander aimlessly. i have no goals at all.. no long term goals.. i can't just go on like that.. i need a passion of mine to go on, and go further..

i want my dream back.. i never ever want the sun to set on me..