i literally have nothing much to say.. i am plagued with troubles, troubles and more troubles!

i can't quit using profanities.. that isn't me.. i am not the girl that uses profanities.. maybe not f*** but as in 'asshole' and 'dumb' and 'blardy hell' and 'shit'.. he probably influenced me into saying all sorts of stuff and start thinking towards the yellow end of the brain.. i'm changing.. i'm afraid that i would get used to speaking in this manner that i'm not me anymore.. i don't want to change towards that edge.. i don't think changing is bad but the point is changing to which side you think is good.. i'm gonna stay true to myself and quit using so much profanities!

the problem with me is that i have loads of problems.. problems with friends and myself.. firstly is with my friends.. it's the situation in my class.. me and stef are feeling damn insecure.. somehow they don't seem that reliable.. i can't seem to trust them.. it's weird.. we talked about it almost all the time and somehow problems aren't solved.. that, i think, would need time to solve..

as for me... my grades are suffering.. badly.. i got all AOs for my midyrs and c5 for gp and B for chinese.. too bad chinese ain't being taken into consideration for university entry now.. boos.. but looking at my 3 subjs.. i really feel like killing myself.. one point.. i haven't studied enough for my midyrs.. i procrastinate my work, i don't bother to finish studying every single thing, and i just wanna play instead of studying.. thats very bad of me.. i just wasted 15% of chance for my promos.. i have to work doubly hard to get promoted and get my desired As.. i'm so stupid.. promos is gonna be harder than mid years.. i just can't be bothered to go and redo tutorials and study more thoroughly.. i should be blamed.. all the pep talks by the teachers kinda woke me up from all this.. i'm doing my tutorials on time and i keep practising maths now.. maths is my best subject and i can't let myself down.. its so damn disappointing, to see my maths failing.. to see all my subjects failing.. i'm really gonna buck up.. trying my very best to understand chem and bio.. i need to do it.. i'll probably need to cut down on unecessary distractions.. i haven't watched tv for the past week.. excluding weekends la.. that's a good start.. slowly and slowly.. i'll just have to leave time for myself and my 'connections' with friends other than mugging like mad.. there is definitely a limit.. not overstepping the border is what i need to control..
all my problems have a solution.. it's only up to whether i have the willpower to control.. the word's CONTROL..