i really feel pissed off today.. right from the start of the day, in the morning, i'm already feeling like a volcano.. ready to erupt my damn larva on anything and everything and i don't give a damn about how destructive it is! it's this problem with him.. he scored less than expected during the midyears and his parents ain't happy about it.. so we would actually talk every night and his mum is unhappy about it.. his mum said that if he continues to talk to me like that, she'll scold ME cos I'M affecting HIS STUDIES.. what kinda crap logic is dat!!! hellO!!! no one ain't responsible for their own results other than they themselves.. yes your son performs worse than expected.. and you come and blame me.. maybe i'm not the main course of all this underperform crap.. but i'm one of the causes.. i don't deny the fact that i may have indirectly caused him to underperform.. but what really pissed me off is that you treat your darling son like some precious angel.. a mummy's good boy.. you don't even know what he does behind your back!!!! and here you give me an impression that i'm like some evil devil trying to ruin your darling son's mind, corrupt it with all sorts of stuff and make him less perfect as a PERFECT son to you.. what kind of shit is that!!

firstly, he plays computer games more than he talks to me..
secondly, he only like talk to me for an hour or so.. it's not like he talks to me the whole day and totally neglect his work for me..
thirdly, we're only friends and thats it! fullstop.. i'm not some irritating girl trying to win your darling son's heart..
fourth, he calls me sometimes and i don't call him all the time!
fifth, if i'm to blame for your son's underperformance, who am i to blame for mine? i got straight Os! i know that it's only me that caused my own downfall in midyears.. i don't blame other people.. so don't goddamn blame me!
sixth, you're not my mother and neither are you my father.. who gives you the right to scold me?!

i'm definitely not apologising to him... its not my fault.. i remain adament about this..

i feel that the whole world's crushing on me.. i keep facing problems here and there.. i'm determined to do well in my studies and don't let unnecessary problems affect me.. after reading vera and jas's blog, i realised that friends really stand by you all the time.. good friends especially.. they aren't boyfriends who would dump you when they get sick of you, neither are they like guys, so unpredictable and weird all the time.. they are soul sisters who would help you and encourage you, giving you the will to carry on with in life and giving you the courage to do the best.. i feel lucky to have found so many soulmates in different stages of my life.. i really love you guys alot.. whenever i have my stupid damn problems, you all are the ones that are just one sms away or even one call away.. some even right next to me.. i really really love you guys alot and i wanna thank you all for all the help and support you've given me by hearing me blamber all the time about my problems.. i'm so happy that i've got you guys.. we had some talk on stress management in school during pccg and it was certainly unlike any other talk.. very interactive and fun! we got to do some mini DISC personality and i still have the I,S personality in me.. i have a high I and high I people basically talk to people about their problems and that makes them feel better! i'm definitely that kind of person.. and having you guys hear me is the greatest pleasure i have in my life.. i really need to speak out and talk my problems out.. thats why my friends are the most important people in my life (following my family of cos)..

i think people's perception of life changes as they grow older and face my tough challenges.. for me, having a boyfriend is so important that i just need to have that experience.. but now, i realise that i only need friends.. relationship matters is so distant to me, almost foreign.. i don't want them.. i don't think i'm ready for it.. i don't wanna take it now.. i just want my friends.. i know i have friends that wouldn't abandon me.. i just need you guys when i need you most and i'll definitely be there for you all when you need me! it's the absolute truth.. best friends don't leave each other in the lurch.. never..